Where there is new life..there is often death..
Join me as I reflect around the theme of grief thats seems to be coming p at this time of year.. before we pull out the flip flops from the back of the cupboard and welome the new energy of Ostara..
Ostara is one of my favourite turns of the wheel for so many resons, but before we tune into the quickening energy that is around the corner I really want to lean into the triggering topic of Death. (Consider this your trigger warning - and it feels like too much or a bad time then please come back to this later or not. Free will reins here.
“Sometimes it can feel as if death is silently always behind us in the shodows, pushed down and tucked away.. and other times it feels as if its right infront of us everywhere we look. In the stories of others and in the whispers of the land.”
Shortly after Ostara last year I sat on the beach of my childhood summers, surrounded by its familiar rock pools and I called my younger self back. I cradled her in my arms as we sobbed in the last remaining place I could remember feeling free and encompassed in a deepest childhood joy. I had left her so long ago and yet there she remained.. sat on those rocks waiting for me.
You know how the story goes from here, we were then catapulted into a new life within a few weeks. The house was empty and we sofa surfed the majority of 2022 with only a rucksack each and the trust of the universe and her divine plan.
During this time we experienced many losses both major and minor. From our four legged family members to first pets and the life we had become so comfortably familiar with. But today as I expand this vision it is so much more I realise I have watched those I care about most deeply dance with death over and over. I have seen the levels of grief and the darkness it creates in ripples across the land. However I have also seen the light and the celebration of life that the grief cycle repeats. Now at this point in my share I should probably say that grief is a very personal journey and I can only speak for myself and yet share with you all. Your journey with grief is however your own.
“You don’t have to to experience grief, but you can only avoid it by avoiding love. Love & grief are inextricably intertwined.” - David Kessler
This past few months grief has made itself known to me in many ways. Through the land, through the loss of people and just yesterday the loss of a lamb on my soul sister's farm. Some of this so raw I did consider letting this ruminate for a few more days before sharing, but I came to the conclusion that grief is to be shared as much as any celebration of life.
During the winter when working around the local mines here in Cornwall I did wonder when did we stop talking about death? Was there a day? A time in particular? Did the church take the phrase ‘holy spirit’ and root it under fear based requirements of us being permitted to cross over fully? Did we lose our connection to spirit due to the pace of life and the ever reduced time we now spend outdoors with the land? When did we forget that each of our souls return in another form when they are ready and if we wish. When did we stop celebrating our ancestors or honouring the idea of spirit? My ancient soul knows that there was no singular day when the songs of grief were stolen. I’m sure it slowly faded over time from the history books: but yet if I really listen I can still hear the keening of the Elders from around the campfire. I wonder if you can hear it also?
As we approach another turning of the wheel with Ostara we will turn to face the warmer days. I just want you to know that if you feel yourself in the thick of grief, then you are not alone. It could be grief over a job, a life you left behind or maybe a loved one. Grief comes in many forms but all equally powerful and of course painful.
Spirit reminded me today and in turn I am passing it along.. that grief is love in its deepest depths, a depth we can often try to avoid as we are so fond of those shallow waters, because it is there that we feel most safe. Although you will always carry this new darker emotional awareness with you, the depth to it that requires time, honour and eventually celebration because without grief we can never fully love.
Oceans of Love Cx